OK, so the rest of the world might not be able to tell the two apart, but for a Canadian, there’s no greater insult than being mistaken for an American – and here’s why…
- Canada has two national languages – some Americans can’t even manage one.
- Canada managed to fob Celine Dion off on America – the horse-faced warbler is currently residing in Florida.
- America claims it’s the capital of the movie world, but some of the highest grossing recent films, including Twilight and X Men, were made on Canadian soil.
- Footage of the Canadian side of Niagara Falls was included in a promotional film designed to lure tourists to the United States – duh!
- Measured by landmass, Canada is the second largest country in the world, after Russia – and bigger is better, unless you’re talking about…
- Obesity, something that is a MASSIVE problem in the US, mainly due to the country’s inferior healthcare system.
- Americans can’t brew beer – hence the joke; how is sex in a canoe like American beer? They’re both fucking close to water.
- According to the Human Development Index, which incorporates factors such as life expectancy, literacy rate, gross domestic product, Canada ranked the 4th best country, while the US finished at 12th, behind nations like Japan and France.
- The electric light bulb, television, telephone, Velcro, zips, insulin, penicillin, Smarties and Superman were all invented in Canada.
- Canada could kick America’s ass at hockey.
In the war of 1812, which was started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back beyond the White House and then burned it to the ground – along with most of Washington, allowing tens of thousands of American slaves to escape and seek refuge in Nova Scotia.