OK, so the rest of the world might not be able to tell the two apart, but for a Canadian, there’s no greater insult than being mistaken for an American – and here’s why…
- Canada has two national languages – some Americans can’t even manage one.
- Canada managed to fob Celine Dion off on America – the horse-faced warbler is currently residing in Florida.
- America claims it’s the capital of the movie world, but some of the highest grossing recent films, including Twilight and X Men, were made on Canadian soil.
- Footage of the Canadian side of Niagara Falls was included in a promotional film designed to lure tourists to the United States – duh!
- Measured by landmass, Canada is the second largest country in the world, after Russia – and bigger is better, unless you’re talking about…
- Obesity, something that is a MASSIVE problem in the US, mainly due to the country’s inferior healthcare system.
- Americans can’t brew beer – hence the joke; how is sex in a canoe like American beer? They’re both fucking close to water.
- According to the Human Development Index, which incorporates factors such as life expectancy, literacy rate, gross domestic product, Canada ranked the 4th best country, while the US finished at 12th, behind nations like Japan and France.
- The electric light bulb, television, telephone, Velcro, zips, insulin, penicillin, Smarties and Superman were all invented in Canada.
- Canada could kick America’s ass at hockey.
Bonus
In the war of 1812, which was started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back beyond the White House and then burned it to the ground – along with most of Washington, allowing tens of thousands of American slaves to escape and seek refuge in Nova Scotia.
144 Comments
Hello, i’m English and you’re all wrong, Canada, shut up we own your ass 😛 America, please just drop off the planet and stop spoiling it for the rest of us, you are quite simply the result of religious nutters Europe no longer wanted. I’m going to Australia and live with the criminals.
I like how Americans are offended by this post, yet in American media Canadians are made fun of constantly. Honestly I do not understand why Americans make fun of Canada. Most of America’s recent conflicts in Asia and the Americas are fully supported by the Canadian government. In addition we do share similar cultures and many famous actors are actually Canadian! William Shatner for example. ^_^
i don’t know… its probably because Canadians act so queer. i’ve know a few… one in particular named Shawn, (probably spelled wrong), he lives in Beijing, China married to a southern Chinese woman and is a flaming bisexual… even has Chinese kids though, good cover. Makes me wonder if Canada’s Norman Bethune was actually Mao’s boyfriend.
Here’s my opinion….
Americans make fun of Canadians in a playful way…ie Canadians ride polar bears. Its not hurtful, just a joke.
Yet when Canadians make fun of Americans’ being stupid or fat….those are real issues that hit a little too close to home.
Plus, most Americans love Canada, whereas it seems like Canadians hate Americans.
Personally, I’d rather be stupid and fat and American than mean and hateful and from Canada
Really? Do you actually think that all Americans joke about Canadians in a playful manner? Oh, so now the joke is also Canada is America’s hat, it’s just some lame old country with random people saying eh on polar bears living in igloos and have absolutely no reliance and are just lazy and sit at home while the govenment pays for every single thing. What happened to Canada is the stick cousin that lives in a wooden cabin with a big fat belly sitting home with a straw hat getting his butt frozen off cause his too lazy to get a real way of life. I wouldn’t call that ‘just a joke’ infact it is on the same level as stupid and fat. Stick cousin is calling people stupid.
I don’t get why yout hink Canda hates the US, but I’m from Vancouver and I love travelling to the States. You’re talking about this person who’s an idiot and posted some stuff on the internet that he did, so now you’re making fun of Canada as a whole. Actually, most Canadians do not make fun of Americans. THey don’t really care. And to most Americans they probably don’t either. We have similar culture because of the British. To tell you the truth, that is the first time I’ve heard Americans love Canada, but for some reason, I don’t think you do.
First of all, this isn’t about Canada and USA.. it’s about Canadians and Americans. Canada may be better in some ways but who cares? US obviously doesn’t. Sure USA owes money to Canada.. but what is Canada going to do? Storm US with men with red coats riding horseback? Ha don’t make me laugh! US doesn’t give a shit because they’re the realest country ever. Plus truth is Canadians strive to be like Americans. US has all the best music, celebrities, and fame. Canadians WANT that. They WANT the Americans swag and life style. USA takes money from Canada and Canada receives concerts from people like Pitbull, Drake, and Lil Wayne. Basic trade. Think about that next time you’re watching a movie AMERICANS provided for you. Canadians need to stop pretending that Americans don’t influence them because they do. Canadians only strive to be better than Americans because they want to be like Americans. CANADIANS WANT TO BE LIKE AMERICANS.
You’re a fricken idiot. I don’t have time to type all the reasons… But your bonus comment makes zero sense. How the hell did Canadians push America past their capital in the war of 1812? Last I checked the British owned that frozen landmass to the north during 1812.
Don’t even kid yourselves. I’ll admit I’m jealous of Canada’s healthcare system (well, most of it anyway)but there is absolutely no way you can compare the United States military and the Canadian military (what are they called? The Mounties)
So yeah, try using some of those creative reasoning skills, ehh?
Red White Blue: What’s more amusing: That Canadians still give a shit about the war of 1812. Never mind that there isn’t a Canadian alive who served in the war, OR that Canada didn’t even exist as a political entity in 1812, OR that we were actually at war with the British AND that Brits never, ever bring up the war of 1812…they kicked our asses (yet gained nothing? How does that work?) and THAT’s what counts!!
What a pathetic nation of butt-hurt little bitches
@REAL TALK. I’m sorry to say but we Canadians don’t want to be like Americans. Its not only u guys who provide movies. Not only u guys who provide good singers (Justin bieber, Drake, Shania Twain) ALL Canadians. We also have movie stidios too. It’s not JUST Hollywood in the world. Plus, I don’t even like Hollywood cuz they are all snotty bitches and bastards. We have better healthcare, some of the Best banks in the world, less criminal records, Etc. What would happen if Canada didn’t exist, American economy- down, American Money- down, American WATER- down. U do know that without Canada. U Americans would be DEAD. Or almost. And I say that and as I said before, Canada beats you guys completely in
Governement, 3/4 in natural beauty (not your Mechanical made stuff) And they tie in Economy.
@Sam
Bieber is Canadian just figured I would point that out (and is NOT a good singer). The funny thing is your a child posting random shit on the internet. I would love for you to actually post fact not some hypothetical situation that involves Canada not existing hurting the US. When it comes to Hollywood it may not be full of the nicest people in the world but Those production companies release far more films than Canada and actually get international viewers. I cant remember the last time I saw a major movie that was Canadian. That is the case because American companies have more money to promote the film and have bigger budgets. I will leave you with this Hypothetical situation if the United States didnt exist and you shared a boarder with mexico, Canada probably would not exist for the fact you dont have the United States to defend you and the Rest of the world. Oh America does have natural Beauty, ever been to upstate New York, or New Hampshire not all of America looks like Detroit.
Canada is such a great model for the world that Vancouver riots after losing the Cup AGAIN. thats a fact child
Patriotism … for rulers is nothing else than a tool for achieving their power-hungry and money-hungry goals, and for the ruled it means renouncing their human dignity, reason, conscience, and slavish submission to those in power. … Patriotism is slavery.
Fuck America !
From a humble Australian.
Aussie is short for asshole
Being an Aussie means a lot of things, an asshole, a bitch, a yobbo and many more that you can all think up……the thing is we take the piss out of EVERYONE including ourselves…..we don’t take that shit too seriously. On the plus side for us, we have the most beautiful, most stable (even if run by morons) and the most enjoyable country. I have been to both America and Canada and loved both, i have a sister who has lived/worked in New York for many years and I hope to return there sooner than later. Why do people feel the need to trash talk other countries? I love life and i love this earth we all live on……(but i am so glad to have been born in Australia…the best place to live….lol)
First of all, If it weren’t for the greatest country on earth – The United States of America – Canada along with pretty much the rest of the world would probably be under Nazi control. And it’s easy to make facts saying how Canada is able to do this shit and that shit for all of its people when it has a population smaller than California. If Canada is so great, why doesn’t anyone want to live there? Yes we have more poor people, because in the U.S. you have to make your own way, we don’t rely on socialist hand-me-downs from the government. One last thing: if everyone in the U.s. is so fat and lazy, how come we lead the world in olympic gold medals by a long shot?
For everyone who thinks Canada is so great, read this, it’s from one of your own! http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/8-168306
P.S. – The Canadian national anthem sucks!
Yeah ‘cus america totally helped stop Germany since 1939 and didn’t only join because Japan attacked them, and they totally were the war heroes there not Russia, or the British Commonwealth, and because the Atomic bomb was purely an American invention, it had nothing to do with the other 39 scientists working on the bomb who were from England, that one lone scientist made the bomb on his own, and because you guys sacrificed millions of lives, the death count was totally over a million, not like 400,000, Russia did NOT lose 23 million lives and did absolutely nothing to help against Germany despite being invaded and the Germans out of good spirit returned all of the land back to the Soviet Union, and america did all of the work in the pacific without any british help, and the war didn’t extend to Africa, or the Middle east, and two nukes on Japan was totally necessary and wasn’t overkill, and the United states did all of the work in western Europe and readily agreed to help France and Britain as requested in 1940 and you guys definetly didn’t have less than 2.4 million troops after drafting citizens in the last year of WW1 which America totally didn’t join in 1917, almost the last year in the war.
Please get a grip peoople, you are talking about a piece of land so just get over it already!
I am American born and raised in queens Ny. I have to say if I could I would pack up and mo e to Canada in a minute.I hate the American government only the rich get richer. Our health care sucks , my mother owns her own house no mortgage but lives paycheck to paycheck and can’t afford healthcare. She almost died because she refused to get medical treatment in fear that they would put a lein on her house. It’s very sad that someone would rather die because they worked very hard their whole life to purchase a house and this great government could care less about anyone but themselves.they keep voting for less healthcare at higher prices,all these poor families that go without because it’s to expensive.I am a certified veterinary technician and I know how cheap many antibiotics that humans use because we use alot of the same ones on animals and it’s amazing how the human healthcare rip people off in prices of them.if they do it with pharmaceuticals you know they are doing it in many different areas. It also breaks my heart to see older Americans lose their homes because they can’t afford the taxes.I think quite honestly we should take some notes from Canada and maybe we wouldn’t be half as screwed up as we are.
you should go to canada immediately. the system is us attracts the most talented people all around the world and also provide people incentives for them to work extra hard. and that is the reason why it is the strongest nation in the world. for people like you, better go to canada and claim your share of the benefit package from the goveronment and relax. be ready to become lazy slow and make thousands of mistakes
Say what you want people, the simple truth is that you’re country will never be able to compare to what our country, the U.S., has contributed to the world! You people just need to sit down, stop criticizing, and be thank full! We take criticism from everyone, but have any of you ever really sat down and said thanks? We save you’re asses all the time! We give you a shitload of life changing inventions! How many nobel prize winners has Canada produced? Has there ever been a Canadian flag on the moon? Where were the Canadians when our soldiers were rising the flag over Mt.Suribachi? And how is our water mostly Canadian? Think people, think!!! Canada has beautiful land, but the country can’t compare! And before you try to criticize our social systems, remember, the U.S. is a Capitalist nation, while Canada is more socialist! If you don’t understand what I’m saying, you probably should go back to school! In the U.S., you have to make something out of yourself, and not try to rely on the government to give you everything! I love my nation, and nobody can ever say anything to even tarnish my opinion of it!!! I can disprove anything you want to try to throw at me, so bring it on!I’m from the Greatest Nation on earth! <3
i think you are extremely biased. Without Canada, the U.S would be nothing. We provide the resources for your inventions, we help you without complaint when there’s a disaster, like Hurricane Katrina, and 9/11. what would your country do without Canada? you ought to be thankful Canada is willing to give away our precious resources to help your economy. We might not have too many hollywood stars, but we are amazing at hockey! you’re hockey team doesn’t stand a chance against us. so stop thinking your country is the best and be thankful you live next door to such an amazing country as Canada. :]
You got it traci and Justin, I’m not trying to be rude but we don’t need America. Were perfectly find with the bonding with other countries in the world. Canada provides the natural resources that other countries NEED. Your water is probably mostly canadian.
@ Sam
Im not saying Canada completely is dependent on the US, Im just saying living right next door has its perks.
@ Shane Carlson
Well Said!
Let’s not bring up W.W.2 Mr Carlson. Canada may not have been at Iwo Jima, but we were fighting for freedom since the Parliament of Canada declared war on Germany, Sept 10, 1939.
Even though Canada did not officially declare war on Iraq, our Illustrious leader at the time did offer the USA and her soldiers our moral support.
Canadian soldiers on exchange with American units did participate in the Invasion of Iraq.
We fought along side you in Afghanistan.
We are brothers in arms.
Lets just be grateful that we are each others allies, and that when needed we can share in the benefits of each others resources and security.
Many Canadians are grateful that we have the USA for a neighbor, and for all that you do for us and the rest of the world.
Its easy to throw stones across the border.
We are blessed with a good healthcare system, and abundant natural resources.
In my belief, most Canadians would be a little happier about our Southern neighbors if we just got a “little” bit of respect instead of disrespect for a change.
Best regards from Canada
Dave
@idontliveinanigloo78
I dont have a problem with Canada, I have a problem with Canadians thinking they are better and taking shots at my country. You talk about respect and I havent really seen any respect shown to the US here at all.
Dont forget we are commenting on a page entitled “Ten reasons why Canadians think Americans are idots.” Most of those reasons are very dumb and not true. This page takes a shot at America and you wonder why Americans are taking shots at Canada.
I think Canadians should respect the US more. We police the world and rid the world of people like Osama Bin Laden, and Saddam Hussien. Not to mention provide a lot of relief for disasters like Japan and Haiti. These are a couple examples of What the United States leads the world in (and they have a great impact).
I do beleive Americans should respect Canada more and I do. But the reverse is also true so you really cant complain.
Yes, Canada was in WW2, I didn’t say they weren’t, but do you really think Germany would’ve been defeated without the U.S.?
But I’m not trying to rip on Canada, I’m just defending my nation! The reasons on this page are plain out stupid! And the fact that you would make a page stating that Canadians think they’re better is just asking for the U.S. to prove you wrong! =P
But I agree, enough with stones, let’s keep to settling our problems with a puck! =P (You’ve got it coming next time)
This list is stupid.
1. Yeah, right. Plenty of Americans speak Spanish as well as English, especially in the southern states.
2. Immature and childish opinion.
3. So? They are just cash-in films for the respective series they originate from. These are only two films so your reason stands on weak legs.
4. Another immature and childish reason.
5. Again, another childish reason. This is like a gradeschool kid boasting about his super cool new toy.
6. Mexico, Kuwait, and Naru rank much higher in this regard.
7. That joke is stupid and it’s immature so it doesn’t matter as legitimate criticism.
8. It’s simple. The U.S. has a bigger population so there’s more struggles for us to deal with.
9. Joseph Swan (Light bulb) was English. Alexander Graham Bell (Telephone) was Scottish. John Baird (Television) was also Scottish. Again, Alexander Fleming (Penicillin) was Scottish. Superman’s artist was Canadian born but lived in the U.S. so you’re wrong.
10. Another immature opinion.
Bonus reason: Canada was technically still a British colony (You weren’t truly independant until January 1st 1867.) and American soldiers burned down Fort York first.
And you’re selfish and capitalistic…you don’t know how to share.
Why are people fighting over this ship that someone made up as a joke? As Canadians, we should be ashamed that someone made this! And not that I’m saying, but the Americans that are trying to flatten Canada because of this are being jsut as immature. THis is just a stupid list that some random person made. And I apologize for the stupidity of the imbecile that made this.
I made a slight error. Canada wasn’t it’s own nation until July 1st but the point still stands that they were still a British colony.
Am I alone in discovering that the only two Canadians I have ever met, returned endless hours of generous hosting, (where they had the shortest arms and longest pockets, it has ever been my misfortune to encounter), returned the kindness by being too lazy to even reply to ones letters thereafter?.
10. canadians could kick america’s ass in hockey not Canada, pfft leafs.
hey Im sorry but a, Americans have the best education, we’re richer than yall, and yall are just some wannabe Americans, so bottom line canadians is so flat out shit.
Aaaand some American’s don’t even know what the UK is…Do you know it?
And so, how come people belive all americans are idiots? Beacuse most people from USA are.
Europe FTW.
Oh good, let’s see how you go for a month without our oil, and coal, lumber, uranium, silver, and poutine. America is in $15 trillion in debt, sure Canada has debt too but you guys…. and if you have better education, how come 7 out of 10 Americans didn’t know where Iraq and Afghanistan were a few years ago, American refers to the people from North and South America, not just USA, maybe they should call you united statesmen, or stateswoman, and Canada is more free than America, except for gun laws, you guys let anyone of age buy a gun, nice nice, well we do get a lot of money from you through you from oil, our water is cleaner than yours, more Americans are stupid and fat than Canadians, (we do have some idiots here) on threw other hand we are responsible for Justin Bieber, I would like to think of that as a form of revenge for Miley Cirus. And you guys elected George W. Bush Jr….. TWICE! And don’t blame Obama he is doing fine, let’s see ISS operations go on without Canadian space invention, the Canadarm, certain gear, certain built in instruments on lard the ISS, and yes, we can destroy you at hockey, and the thing about language, true that reason is dumb, but you Americans ruined the english language ‘mom’ you guys pointlessly replace ‘s’s with ‘z’s like in realise, not realize, and you guys have a huge crime rate, you consume so many resources, and you still think you won Vietnam, now this is only SOME Americans, not all, SOME.
stupid article. the more you say the more pathetic you show others you are
As a Canadian, I am embarrased by this. Is this some kind of a joke???
Amen. I find this kind of BS hugely embarrassing. I remember growing up that this kind of ignorance-based patriotism was something we Canadians used to mock others for doing. And now apparently we’re producing them just as dumb.
All of this is ignorant america is canada and canada is america, I know from living in detroit that as many if us work there as they work here. If canada had a problem the u.s. would be the first to react as well as if the u.s. had a problem canada would be the first to help. Don’t overthink bullshit like this.
Canada makes you wait three months for a surgery- that’s why some come to AMERICA. I know from experience. America would blow Canada to smitherines
Canada is USA’S Bithch. Candada does what we tell them.
Ten reasons this is a load of …. (Actual facts provided)
1. So? 23% of Canadians speak French. 26% of Americans speak a second language.
2. Being able to produce awful musical talent isn’t an asset.
3. Twilight was primarily filmed in Portland, Oregon and parts of Washington state and California. However, regardless of where they were filmed, they’re American produced movies.
4. That tourism video showed a split-second view of a waterfall that could be located anywhere. All you see is cascading water.
5. U.S. has bigger population, bigger economy. I think that’s more important than landmass.
6. According to Statistics Canada 65% of men (7.7 million) in Canada are overweight or obese and 53.4% of women (6.5 million) in Canada are overweight or obese. Approx. 23.1% of Canadian men and women are obese (5.5 million). To elaborate, a majority of Canadians are fat.
7. Budweiser and Molson are both crap. Sam Adams beats any beer the world over.
8. According to the latest Human Development Index (2011) the United States ranks #4; higher than Canada. U.S. ranked higher than Canada in 2010 as well.
9. Plenty of inventors created a crude, non-commercial light bulb prior to woodword and evans; John Starr, Joseph Swan, etc…Edison created the first successful, practical light bulb and is therefore credited. The claim to the television invention can be credited to a multitude of people; John Logie Baird (Scotland), Philo Farnsworth (U.S.) Boris Rosing (Russia); but none of them Canadian. Velcro was invented by a Swede. “The telephone was invented by a Canadian” is a myth started by the CBC. Alexander Graham Bell was born in Scotland, patented and developed the telephone in the U.S. His only ties to Canada was that he retired there. He never even had Canadian citizenship as it didn’t exist until after he died.If you’re refering to a zipper; Either Elias Howe or Whitcomb Judson (Both American). Insulin is a great Canadian invention. Alexander Fleming (penicilin) is Scottish, not Canadian. Smarties are from England. Superman was written up by an American, drawn by a Canadian.
10. You got us there.
Bonus:The *British* attacked Washington and burned down the white house only after the American army burned down most of York (Toronto) including all of the parliamentary buildings.
This article really just shows your ignorance, and here’s why:
Both the United States and Canada have a literacy rate of 99%.
Twilight and X Men are both considered Hollywood films, as are many other movies which were filmed in location across the globe.
Your argument about country size is ridiculous, obviously you have no respect for the French and British founders of your country.
The obesity problem in the United States has nothing to do with health care, but rather a side effect of free market socialism.
The light bulb was invented in the United Kingdom, by Humphry Davy.
The television was invented in the United States, by Philo Farnsworth.
The telephone was conceived by Alexander Graham Bell in his summer home in Ontario, but was invented in Boston.
Velcro was invented in Switzerland, by George de Mestral.
Insulin was isolated by a scientist from Canada, but it was never ‘invented’, it is a naturally occurring substance in the human body.
Once again, penicillin is a naturally occurring mold, which was discovered by Ernest Duchesne, in France, not invented.
Smarties were created by the company Rowntrees, in the United Kingdom.
Superman was created by American Jerry Siegel, and Canadian Joe Shuster.
Just as Canadians may be better at Hockey, I’m sure Americans are better at Football (American Football).
During the War of 1812, Canada did not yet exist, therefor this argument is completely invalid.
Actually, the US cant take credit for the television. The invention of television is credited towards quite a number of individuals before Farnsworth’s 1927 transmission. In reality, all farnsworth did was take the previous discoveries, put them altogether and mass produce televisions. Granted, it still requires brains to put that knowledge altogether, but the US can hardly take credit for it
You do have a point, in that the television was a conglomeration of efforts from around the globe, the United States does not deserve the credit, nor does Canada.
Suck my fucking Dick
You have no idea how offensive that is! People from Vancouver, the rest of them that actually care about hockey are completely and utterly embarrased, me as one of them. In fact I had my car crashed infront of my house. To you, it’s like haha they rioted. To those of us who care,we think it’s a tragdy. Really, one riot to determine an entire country? Now that’s what I call stereotyping. And you’re right, canada isn’t a ‘loving’ country, we’re supposedly a ‘peaceful’ country. Not that everything we do is peaceful… but in comparason to many other countries, we are considered a ‘virgin’. Really, not many Canadians hate Americans.
you are an embarrasment to Canadians all over the world
USA was founded in 1776, the war of 1812 happened in 1812, it was Canadians and British who burned down the White house, that was why it was reprinted white, to hide the burn marks.
Cassijade,
The phrase “land of the free” was coined by Francis Scott Key (at least in this instance, it is also used for example in the Belizean national anthem) in the creation of the United States National Anthem. He was inspired by the Battle of Fort McHenry, in which the British attacked Fort McHenry by sea. The term was meant to reflect on the nature of the American Revolutionary War, being that the Colonists were trying to form their own nation free of Britain’s control and taxation.
The term is not meant to deny the fact that there are a lot of “free” countries in modern times, such as Canada.
Are you stupid? America could only muster 2.4 million soldiers which includes the men drafted into the war in 1917, and that was very late in the war, and you still only joined after Germany started sinking your ships and Mexico attacked.